Cuddly Coaches

Life has been incredible for me. I have gotten the freedom and breath of fresh air that I have been undoubtedly praying to God for each day I was at the Women's Hearth. I absolutely loved the Hearth, but I knew that my heart was dragging behind me and I was starting to get weary working over fifty hours a week and feeling jaded by some of the women's situations. Now look at my life! I have gotten the break that I dreamed of the last day at the Hearth.

Coaching soccer has been so so amazing. I am truly loving my job. I get paid fifteen dollars an hour to help children become well acquainted with soccer and improve their skills. I also absolutely love all of the coaches. I never realized how much I missed being around people that were as active as I crave to be. The kids are incredible, and showing them the importance of hard work, aggression, competition, and how to kick a soccer ball is almost as rewarding as helping homeless women get the food and needs that they need. It's a completely different avenue.

This week I chose to coach the older kids. I was feeling a little bored last week doing crab soccer every day and the simple drills that the little tikes work on. I wanted some soccer! Some scrimmage! Some games! So I decided that I would coach the older kids this week and already the time is flying by. I am coaching them with Tim, Gabe, Cahen, and Andrew. I also have realized how much I truly miss working with men. I have become so accustomed to working with women and being surrounded by women that I forgot how nice it is to have those guy friends at work everyday. Cahen is back this summer!!! It's so nice to come back to camp after a year and be reunited with some of the coaches from last year.

Cahen is seventeen and he looks like he's twenty three. If I had a young friend I would totally set her up, because he's gorgeous. lol. He is my bosses little brother and I adore him. He is such a sweetie. It seems like he is finding it somewhat refreshing to have a female around as well, due to the fact that his brothers are all "boy" so to speak and have that older sibling type of competition in their spirit. I saw him when I walked out on the field and a huge smile spread across his face. I gave him a big ol' hug and I felt relieved to have some of my old close to heart friends back. He's staying for two weeks now and it will be a blast. I kind of look at him as kind of a younger brother. :D big surprise...trish being overly motherly once again. Oh well.

Then there is Janessa. I love Janessa. I played indoor soccer with her for so long and never got a chance to get to know her. She just came back from traveling all over England and I am picking her brain apart every chance I get. She is so down to earth and easy going. :) Also..there is Gaz, the European friend that she had travel over to the states to coach soccer as well. He is hilarious and I love hearing all about England from him...even though his accent makes him somewhat hard to understand..which can be kind of embarrassing.

Then there is Andrew. Oh Andrew. He reminds me so much of Tommy that often I have the urge to scratch his back for him and ruffle up his hair like I do with my sweet baby brother. haha. He is a total sweetheart and is so passionate about his friends that instantaneously I feel reconnected to him although I hadn't seen him since last years camp.

Then Jaymes. Tim's older brother. He is in his late thirties and there is something incredibly sincere about him. At first I felt like our personalities clashed a little because he tends to be a little over the edge competitive which makes me feel a little intimidated. My first judgemental impression of him was that he was a hard headed jock that would be cocky and impossible to talk to about any of my views on the wrongs of sexism in soccer and how liberated I feel trying to go against the gender stereotypes being a somewhat decent soccer player...that is a...gasp...girl. Low and behold he is nothing like what I judged. He is kind and soft hearted. He also is incredibly encouraging and quite the leader. I feel a sense of ease and connection with him as a "big brother" figure. So low and behold it's almost as though I am coaching soccer with a whole bunch of younger and older brother. Which all in all makes me feel at home :)

Today was incredible. After soccer all the coaches got together and we spent the entire day at coure de lane and went swimming and jumping off of rocks and doing the rope swing. What a rush. Then we went out to dinner and all in all I was alarmed by how at peace I was with all of these people I had just recently connected with. Also, the trees, water, and sunshine were a masterpiece today. I love having friends that can keep up with my activity. The coaches at camp are always looking for a new path to bike down..a new place to play soccer..or a new place to hike or swim. It makes my heart happy because alot of the time I feel like I wear my friends out because I want to keep going! Keep moving! :)

Life is good. <3

Soccer Sweeties

So far coaching the little adorable kidlings has been amazing. I got the age group of 5-9 and they are total sweethearts. Of course there is the occasional child that wants to throw a stick or hack at your legs instead of kick a soccer ball around. Still I find every piece of them endearing :).

Working with children in the sunshine, you can't help but smile and the coaches seem to have an awesome attitude this year. I am glad that we got more coaches so that the work is a little bit more diluted.

I can't help but think about what I was like as a kid. Was I one of the "favorites" or was I one of the weird ones off playing in the dirt. All I can remember about being a child is being facinated by everything especially nature(big surprise) and I definetly remember only wanting to socialize. I am pretty sure I was one of those kids that the coaches were constantly telling to shutup. I do remember being really competitive at my soccer camp as a kid and hating when I wasn't the best at something. I kind of wish I got a chance to see my closest friends as children so that I could understand them even more..and see how they have grown into the beautiful people they are.

Children are incredible. The innocence of the world. I can't wait to have at least five of my own. :D hahah...a million babies and a million puppies..that's what I want.

An interesting aspect of this job is that I am done at noon everyday and some days don't even work at my second job. This means that I am working half the amount of time I was before, but getting paid more. Which is such a curious awareness. Now I have so much free time...right after some of my closest friends have moved far away. How depressing. Still I am enjoying the free time :D More running! and yoga!

summa summa time!

My favorite things about the summer so far:

-coaching soccer
-lake time :D
-My introduction to Sessions Black..yum
-GETTING MY CAR
-cherries :D
-dance parties with the crew
-riding my bike
-going running
-yoga in the sunshine
-Finch Arboritum--the amazing trees!!
-Tom Petty concert(for free!)
-Ashel coming to visit me
-Fourth of july bbq with erin :D
-mini family reunion
-summer dresses :D

Least favorite things:
-SAYING GOODBYE to friends :(

Second hand world

I am addicted to the second hand world. Ever since I have been doing Americorps..making six dollars an hour I have found shopping to be somewhat of an art...or perhaps a competition. Now that it's summer I want new summer clothes..so I have been impulsively going out and trying to find the cutest stuff to wear this summer. Since I'm broke I have been second hand shopping and it's glorious. I have found some really good finds and you just throw them in the wash and vwuh lah! It's new. haha. My current top five second hand stores:

1. Fringe and Fray: The most vintage of them all and filled with jewelry that the owner hand crafted herself from grandmothers pins and pearls.


2. Drop Your Drawers: You must have patience, but finding that perfect yellow sundress after half an hour..totally worth it. :D

3. Plato's Closet: A little bit on the expensive side (hahah in the thrift world) but you can find some pretty cute stuff here and you can trade!

4. My friends closet: can't beat that..haha

5. Finders Keepers: some pretty hainus stuff..but very entertaining..haha.

Top Three Current Favorite Places...

Currently I have been in constant want of traveling..leaving..a vay-cay..getting away from it all and in three days I'm hopping on a plane and heading out to cali. In leu of this trip I decided to list the top three...of course I haven't done a ton of traveling but what I have done..I definetly have favorites. :)

1. Santa Cruz, California.
Not only are the people there friendly, tan, and relaxed with a hippie attitude and free spirited minds so are the trees. :) The trees are phenomenal here..the hugest redwood trees I have seen. The sun is almost ALWAYS shining and on top of having a glorious beach, forest, and downtown shopping it has a few choice friends that I absolutely adore from camp. Kara and Danny aka: Cupcake and Mowgli.


2. The Gorge in George
The open sky...sitting on the lush grass...listening to awesome music, and a hot temp with flowy skirts and a pbr in hand. (Although those pbrs are nine dollars!! Major downfall). It's hard to say my two favorite things in the world but music and the outdoors are really up there...so the combination of the Gorge and phenomenal live artist is a dream come true. Also the contact high(not much of a smoker) of good ol' mj adds a nice touch to a relaxed afternoon. ha.

3. Manito Park
This park is full of mystery and romantic lure. The greenhouse and japanese garden are my absolute favorite. Everything in this park is mesmerizing and hits all senses...even taste..if you stop by the scoop before hand and get yourself a cone to munch on around the park. I love being around the little kids at the park that are astounded by the turtles, catfish, and ducks in the pond. Simplicity is bliss here.One of my favorite places to run, bike, or even just stroll. :)

Dreams

Lately I have been having the most bizarre dreams. I think it has something to do with the fact that I have had alot of change in my life recently with the move and turning twenty-three and my job soon ending in July. Also, multiple people have informed me that I have been present in their dreams. It's very odd. I can't help but wonder if there is a dream world.

The subconscious is a very confusing and mysterious thing. If you dream about someone romanticly does that mean you have harbored feelings? Or does it just mean that your mind is curious and wondering about things that you would never let your conscious think about? Lately I have had very anxious dreams...dreams of running away or not being able to speak or getting caught or lost. It's all so peculiar. I truly think that the subconscious does alot of internal healing for us while we sleep, and this is one of the many reasons why sleep is so necessary. I really do think that our mind tries to sort out ideas, feelings, and relationships when we don't have our conscious filter on. It's almost relieving to be able to wake up and remember some of the wierd experiences you had in a dream. It's exciting and unrational and completely obsurd, the thoughts that are thought in a dream and it's almost reviving to the soul to be wierd and abstract and not always having to make sense of thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

I also think that people use dreams as an excuse. For example, some of my ex-lovers have popped out of nowhere to say "I had a dream about you last night." I mean sure, maybe they really did have a dream about me, but really I can't help but think..well this is kind of a cop-out.

I think that people are afraid to feel and say certain things in their life so they use dreams as a sort of way of expression, like a love letter written, but never given. I mean, it's wierd to think that I have gotten in violent fights in my dreams with people I have never ever stood up to or said anything against. I have also loved, apologized, and forgiven people in my dreams that in real life I still hold a grudge against. I also have cheated on alex about a million times in my dreams and it's all so wierd. What does it all mean? I wonder what Freud would say and how he would interpret my dream analysis. I can only wonder.

And those people that don't remember their dreams...I'm so glad I remember my dreams. I have learned so much about myself and internalized feelings through these thoughts floating and weaving through slumber.

HAPPY.

I literally am beaming. I feel like my whole heart is glowing right through my chest and my smile feels authentic and original. Getting baptized was the most spiritual thing I have ever done and I finally feel ready to gain solidity in my relationship with God. It's weird to think of all of the mistakes I've made and am still making. It's wierd to think how hurt my heart was for so long in all those crummy situations. But here I am. Away from it all. And here I am brand new.

But right now. I know that everything is going to be okay. No matter what.

I also can't help but feel so grateful for the friendships that I have and the amazing boyfriend I have. The relationships I have right now are all so right and so sturdy and true. I am so very thankful and so blessed.