because I'm in a quirky mood and because it's been awhile since I wrote something on my computer that wasn't academic, I am going to take this time to write a letter to santa...my adult version..very different then my little kid version
Dear Santa,
I know there were times this year where I was outrageous in my wildness. I'm sure when checking over the list and scrolling across my name you immediately had a flashback to my weekend in Vegas where I was flashy and ridiculous and wore my shoes in the swimming pool. Also, the multiple times I yelled at Alex when planning our wedding. I'm sure you're looking back and thinking of the multiple times I had a little too much to drink (or a lot), when I chain smoked cigarrettes, hid Alex's call of duty game, and refused to eat veggies weeks after my wedding (due to dieting for almost a year).
I know you're probably thinking of the times when I relished in my enemie's weight gain and spoke my mind one too many times out in public. You're also probably remembering the times when I lashed out at some of my friends when supppper stressed out and the time I prank called my little brother wasted, leaving him a message saying I was some girl he met at "Club Fit." In my defense I needed to make a point about his permiscuous ways. ;D and I know, I know, I know....when I spent wayyyy too much money on that pair of shoes and waited until the last minute to do my homework and complained about it to the world. And yes, that was me, that told a couple people off this year and wrote some people off and gave my little brother chew when he turned eighteen. I did flirt my way out of a speeding ticket and played dumb when I didn't want to fix some stuff in my apartment, so Alex would. Now I hope you can somehow look past all of this and grant me what I want this Christmas....now think of this Christmas list as a somewhat New Year list as well.
What I want most for Christmas is liberation. Freedom in music and friendships and love and trees. To be able to set aside my neurotic tendencies and accept the world and the people close to me in it for the incredible people they are. I want peace of mind and yoga. I want to be able to lay my head down at night and not think about how I wish I could loose ten pounds or how I should have, would have, could have. I want to abolish mental "to do" lists. I want mostly to cherish this world and the moments God grants me. I want to stop being nostalgic and stop living in the past, like a sappy consumer of my hauntings. No more nightmares every single freaking day of people who are in my past, that wrote me off or hurt me. I want disaknowlegment as well as acknowlegment.
disaknowlege: negative people in my world; narcisstic relationships that are totally one sided; what I don't have, materialistically speaking; judgmental people...I can't judge judgemental people right? That makes me a hypocrite; and most of all I want to disaknowlege my fear. Fear of failure, not being accepted, and fear that my friends and the people I love will leave.
acknowlege: the beauty on this earth, God, the incredible friends I do have and their awesome qualities, uplifting music, simplicity, my blessings, how lucky I am. :)
Also, Santa...I would like you to provide comfort to the people who are hurting out there. There are so many...and so many close to me that are hurting. Please, Santa let me just accept the things I have right now, in this moment.
Along with this list, Santa, I would like you to transport me into the seventies for a week haha...and also could you let me go on project runway and design clothing and let me travel the world at no expense. ;D Also, I would very much like to meet Audrey Hepburn and find the most epic kareoke song of all time. Also, please don't let me get pregnant for at least another year..again with the neuroticism. hahaha..Also, I just want enough time this Christmas break to see all the people that I love and care for so much.
I know this list is very easy to fulfill ;)
Thank you,
Trish
