Now...my job as of right now has to be one of the most slow going jobs. I have been able to sort out my loan info; get some headway on the wedding website; catch up on all blogs; read online poetry; purchase new shoes online; and e-mail my mother and erin all day long. I also have acquired quite the running list of new music I want to download--inspired from hearing new mu via grooveshark and pandora(apparantly they have a limit on hours you can listen). Along with the internet being pretty much my only source for interpersonal communication(I sit in a cubby away from everyone by myself) my mind is my source of entertainment. I will explain.
Daydreaming. All day at work I daydream. I let my mind enter so many different realms and worlds and I actually have control over who enters these thoughts(unlike night dreams). To defer my brain turning into mush from looking at a screen all day I travel in my mind. Now please don't judge me on my daydreams..I swear I'm not as materialistic or shallow as my daydreams play me out to be ;) at least I'd like to think that. I would like to think of this list as my version of the MTV series "Made"
Top ten things I daydream about
1. Becoming rich in a very random way. Yesterday I daydreamed that one of the lawyers pulled me into his office and told me he was impressed with my mind and wanted to pay off all my loans and pay for the rest of my education..no cost and no favors. I also have the same daydream alot where one of the homeless women that I took care of suddenly strikes it rich and offers my a lump sum haha. I also have the random daydream where a famous rapper runs into me downtown and knocks me over and in an apology offers me moola along with patron on ice.haha. Now what I do with this money I also daydream about: I think about all the places I want to donate..but come on that gets kind of boring in a daydream...so I dream about going on extravagant shopping sprees...tipping very highly at restaraunts...buying an island just for me and most importantly hiring someone to play with my hair everyday and give me massages. haha..
2. Crazy things happening at unlikely places. The most unlikely place: my work. I daydream about the lawyers getting in a crazy fist fight or catching someone making out or my personal favorite...someone breaking into dance and song at my work and then inspiring a dance party. I also daydream about one of the lawyers coming into my cubicle and asking if I would like to help him with a deposition of a crazy person in some insane case. How awesome would that be?
3. Alex and I in our new home. I daydream about this alot as well. I daydream about what our new house is going to look like..what we are going to call our little puppy golden retriever...decorations and making breakfast in bed with him.
4. Being Pheobe off of friends. Now I love Pheobe and lately I have been watching an unhealthy amount of Friends. Lately I have this same daydream where Friends airs again and they ask me to be Pheobe! hahaha..weird I know.
5. New Occupation. I often daydream about getting a new job..go figure...but of course it's jobs like being a fashion designer for Beyonce or being a professional dancer or being an outdoor yoga instructor in California where it's always sunny. I also have daydreamed about being a puppy keeper or a baby holder. I also daydream about finding the perfect non-profit job for me. One of my favorites that I have daydreamed about is becoming a famous poet and having my own "poet's corner" in some wonderful library where I sit and read poetry all day and talk about poems and writing with smart philisophical people all day. hahah
6. Last words. I have also daydreamed about last words. Things I would like to say to people that I would never have the guts to say to them or the chance passed by. I daydream about conversations with people from my past..and some from my present. I daydream about little edgy witty things I could say to the people that have shown me up or gotten under my skin. I also think about words I should have said or things I have said that I regret.
7. Being a bird/Trees. Usually I daydream about this the most when driving home from work. I look up at the beautiful fall trees and I pretend that I am the leaves on them flowing with the wind gracefully so. I am also prone to daydreaming that I am a bird free in the sky.
8. Performing on stage and having an accent. For some reason listening to Kate Nash inspires this daydream. I pretend that I have the voice of Kate Nash and am in some dive bar singing wonderful acoustic songs. :D
9. Europe.
10. Not ever having to work again in my life--only getting to be artistic and creative and lazy some days too. lol
From a sentimental free spirit's perception
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Procrastination
Okay...mabye my first small freak out
Lately I've been feeling a little overwhelmed with planning. I figure eh it's a year away can I just have a break? The biggest stressor right now is food. I have no idea how we are going to afford catering with 150 guests or at least not make the majority of our budget solely for catering. I don't know. My aunt is making the cake and cupcakes and my mom rented out the church kitchen already for that. I can't wait to see what my aunt makes..she is amazing. But since my mom already rented out the kitched she offered the idea of having friends/family help make the food in the kitchen the night before...like freeze some lasagnas and then noodles and pasta trays prepared in the morning. I don't know how that's going to work either. Melissa is borrowing warming trays from her work which would be great. Ahhhh there are so many details and honestly I would like to finally open up a credit card because the money that's associated with all this planning is so overwhelming.
Then there are the flowers. I found a really good florist that I like...thanks to Erin :D and I put together some ideas for the bouquets but then when all was said and done the bouquets looked to casual for the dresses I will probably pick for bridesmaids and for my dress. So now we are back to square one.
Centerpieces..I have racked my mind for ideas on centerpieces. I have thought of millions of things but none of them stand out to me. I want something creative and beautiful that I can piece together.
Pre-marital counseling would be so much simpler if we lived over on the west side because the person who is marrying us--Tom Helm...also the man that baptized me and one of my dad's closest friends...is over on the west side and he's the one with all the information for who could counsel us...etc. ahhhhh
Then there is our honeymoon..which we really need to sort out the details for but really need to start saving for. Alex and I really need to learn how to not go out so much...we are just both such social creatures but we really need to start budgeting ourselves..I'm just as bad if not worse than him.
The list. We started making our list and our first draft was over 200 people!!!! Now we need to cut back..how do you cut back??? all I know is I can't make any more friends at all from here until the wedding.
pretty much it all feels far too overwhelming and I would like to just not think about any of this for a long time...I just want to be able to fall asleep and not stress about how I am going to get this to all come together.
Here are some more ideas for my wedding...
I really like this bouquet :D
I loved this for our invite envelopes:
I was thinking about making these for all the sorority girls to wear either in their hair or as a pin :D
Centerpiece ideas:
For cards :D
Two favorite gowns I've seen on the web:
http://www.allurebridals.com/index.php?id=3&product_id=525
and
http://www.allurebridals.com/index.php?id=3&product_id=523
The one thing I am very excited about is moving in together. It's going to be so amazing living with Alex. I know we will have our ups and downs but I can't wait to be able to go to sleep with alex next to me every night and wake up to him everyday. I love him so much...and I guess in the end that's all that matters :D
Lately I've been feeling a little overwhelmed with planning. I figure eh it's a year away can I just have a break? The biggest stressor right now is food. I have no idea how we are going to afford catering with 150 guests or at least not make the majority of our budget solely for catering. I don't know. My aunt is making the cake and cupcakes and my mom rented out the church kitchen already for that. I can't wait to see what my aunt makes..she is amazing. But since my mom already rented out the kitched she offered the idea of having friends/family help make the food in the kitchen the night before...like freeze some lasagnas and then noodles and pasta trays prepared in the morning. I don't know how that's going to work either. Melissa is borrowing warming trays from her work which would be great. Ahhhh there are so many details and honestly I would like to finally open up a credit card because the money that's associated with all this planning is so overwhelming.
Then there are the flowers. I found a really good florist that I like...thanks to Erin :D and I put together some ideas for the bouquets but then when all was said and done the bouquets looked to casual for the dresses I will probably pick for bridesmaids and for my dress. So now we are back to square one.
Centerpieces..I have racked my mind for ideas on centerpieces. I have thought of millions of things but none of them stand out to me. I want something creative and beautiful that I can piece together.
Pre-marital counseling would be so much simpler if we lived over on the west side because the person who is marrying us--Tom Helm...also the man that baptized me and one of my dad's closest friends...is over on the west side and he's the one with all the information for who could counsel us...etc. ahhhhh
Then there is our honeymoon..which we really need to sort out the details for but really need to start saving for. Alex and I really need to learn how to not go out so much...we are just both such social creatures but we really need to start budgeting ourselves..I'm just as bad if not worse than him.
The list. We started making our list and our first draft was over 200 people!!!! Now we need to cut back..how do you cut back??? all I know is I can't make any more friends at all from here until the wedding.
pretty much it all feels far too overwhelming and I would like to just not think about any of this for a long time...I just want to be able to fall asleep and not stress about how I am going to get this to all come together.
Here are some more ideas for my wedding...
I really like this bouquet :D
I loved this for our invite envelopes:
I was thinking about making these for all the sorority girls to wear either in their hair or as a pin :D
Centerpiece ideas:
For cards :D
Two favorite gowns I've seen on the web:
http://www.allurebridals.com/index.php?id=3&product_id=525
and
http://www.allurebridals.com/index.php?id=3&product_id=523
The one thing I am very excited about is moving in together. It's going to be so amazing living with Alex. I know we will have our ups and downs but I can't wait to be able to go to sleep with alex next to me every night and wake up to him everyday. I love him so much...and I guess in the end that's all that matters :D
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
hmmm.
Ever since my first heartbreak in the sixth grade by Kevin Eggen the most popular boy in school and my first boyfriend I've had this theory about conflict and ended relationships. Actually I wouldn't really call it a theory I would call it more of a daydream. It's gone through my head probably a million times when I am upset about a situation or a torn/jaded relationship with someone. It all started when I watched the cheesy teeny bopper movie "Can't Hardly Wait." When the ridiculous boy gets stuck in the bathroom with his arch nemesis and the most irritating girl in the world to him. They are stuck in the bathroom with eachother with nothing but conversation or silence(their choice obviously) and an empty bathroom. Well they end up being stuck with eachother and end up finding out that they aren't in fact enemies, but rather mere confused teenagers misunderstood by eachother with more in common then they'd like to admit.
This idea or so-called "daydream" always starts the same. I am in a situation where I end up mistakenly getting locked in the same room with someone that I'm awkward with or someone that I obviously have unsteady feelings towards or conflict with. Now, I would like to believe that in general most people have awkward situations with alot of people where they would dodge behind a taco stand or book it for home as soon as they saw one of these people that fall under the categories of people that I will soon list, but in all reality I feel as though(hopefully not too narcisstic sounding) I have an overwhelming number out of the ordinary amount of people that would fall into said categories. Unfortunately I am notorious to running into the wrong people ALL THE TIME. Now I would like to clarify that my relentless ability to always run into the people I hate to run into at all the wrong times has gotten better since I have, gratefully so, gotten out of the small town of Cheney.
Here are said categories that the people that my idea stems from about fall under: "awkward conflict" or "used to be my best friend but now turned awkward realization that you've grown distant and sadly, nostalgically apart" or "oops drunken make out person that you would never proudly admit to making out with" or "you were sober for my drunken moment" which I would also like to refer to as "blackmail person" that you would never claim to know or the "Unsettled past" person and lastly, my personal favorite "angry broken-hearted hatred ex-boyfriend" category.
Now continueing with this idea of rendering peace and mending all horrible mistakes and situations that have happened in a person's life regaurding relationships. I would like to believe that if I were locked in a room with a person that has entered my life and fallen into one(or maybe even multiple) of categories listed above that somehow we would find peace and gain something that is such a blessing--closure. I would like to believe that if I were to be stuck with any one of these people in my life that I had a coflict with that in the end after being stuck in a locked room together that we would find peace and a relatable distinction that all humanity is connected, including-for whatever reason-those that are at conflict or at war with my present. I have even gone as far to daydream what we would talk about and all of the issues we would resolve when we mistakenly ended up in that locked room. I imagine myself either gaining a friend, resolving a conflict, or finally being able to act civilized in a "run-in." I know this idea seems far fetched but I hope that someday somehow this happens with at least one of the people from my past that has reaped havock on my conscious or on my regrets.
Here is a clip..lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdAfJoj5uGE&feature=related
This idea or so-called "daydream" always starts the same. I am in a situation where I end up mistakenly getting locked in the same room with someone that I'm awkward with or someone that I obviously have unsteady feelings towards or conflict with. Now, I would like to believe that in general most people have awkward situations with alot of people where they would dodge behind a taco stand or book it for home as soon as they saw one of these people that fall under the categories of people that I will soon list, but in all reality I feel as though(hopefully not too narcisstic sounding) I have an overwhelming number out of the ordinary amount of people that would fall into said categories. Unfortunately I am notorious to running into the wrong people ALL THE TIME. Now I would like to clarify that my relentless ability to always run into the people I hate to run into at all the wrong times has gotten better since I have, gratefully so, gotten out of the small town of Cheney.
Here are said categories that the people that my idea stems from about fall under: "awkward conflict" or "used to be my best friend but now turned awkward realization that you've grown distant and sadly, nostalgically apart" or "oops drunken make out person that you would never proudly admit to making out with" or "you were sober for my drunken moment" which I would also like to refer to as "blackmail person" that you would never claim to know or the "Unsettled past" person and lastly, my personal favorite "angry broken-hearted hatred ex-boyfriend" category.
Now continueing with this idea of rendering peace and mending all horrible mistakes and situations that have happened in a person's life regaurding relationships. I would like to believe that if I were locked in a room with a person that has entered my life and fallen into one(or maybe even multiple) of categories listed above that somehow we would find peace and gain something that is such a blessing--closure. I would like to believe that if I were to be stuck with any one of these people in my life that I had a coflict with that in the end after being stuck in a locked room together that we would find peace and a relatable distinction that all humanity is connected, including-for whatever reason-those that are at conflict or at war with my present. I have even gone as far to daydream what we would talk about and all of the issues we would resolve when we mistakenly ended up in that locked room. I imagine myself either gaining a friend, resolving a conflict, or finally being able to act civilized in a "run-in." I know this idea seems far fetched but I hope that someday somehow this happens with at least one of the people from my past that has reaped havock on my conscious or on my regrets.
Here is a clip..lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdAfJoj5uGE&feature=related
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Ownership
Now I don't really consider myself a very materialistic person, but out of human condition and being an American I fear that I do have some monetary goals that I would like to attain :D Here are a few:
1. Golden Retriever
2. Vintage reupohlstered vw bus :D
this is so I can cruise around with all of my friends and go on huge road trips and camp on the beach inside my bus :D I would also like a mini fridge in my bus..haha.
3. A nice Canon--I really want to start getting into photography but would like the tools :)
4. A greenhouse!!
5. Walk in closet!!! :D Much like Carrie's in Sex and the City..okay a girl can dream right?
:D That is my ridiculous wish list
1. Golden Retriever
2. Vintage reupohlstered vw bus :D
this is so I can cruise around with all of my friends and go on huge road trips and camp on the beach inside my bus :D I would also like a mini fridge in my bus..haha.
3. A nice Canon--I really want to start getting into photography but would like the tools :)
4. A greenhouse!!
5. Walk in closet!!! :D Much like Carrie's in Sex and the City..okay a girl can dream right?
:D That is my ridiculous wish list
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Invitation
I had to do a seperate post just for my wedding invitation. My best friend, Ashley Laskowski made these and designed them. They are incredible and absolutely perfect!!!
Take a peak!!
Aren't they amazing?
Take a peak!!
Aren't they amazing?
Wedding! wooooo
Okay...so I had to post to do all the updates for the big day!!! :D
Let's start at the beginning...we are getting married August 19th, 2011 at Lake Wilderness Lodge Maple Valley, WA :
http://www.ci.maple-valley.wa.us/index.aspx?page=107
Our wedding will be outdoors in front of the lake and it will be absolutely beautiful. It's nice and green and surrounded in the beauties of nature :D The reception will be held indoors..which is three stories large and has a spiral staircase along with an awesome dance floor! :D
Our photographer: Rendy Tucker
http://www.rendytuckerphotography.com/
Our flowers: still trying to figure all the logistics of this out... :D We have three different options right now :)
Our caterer: ughhhhhh the hardest part so far!! Still looking!!!
Our cake/cupcakes: My aunt is doing the cake...still trying to work out the details of who will end up doing our cupcakes..possibly the caterer
Decorations/ambiance: Sarah is going to make these adorable white paper...we are going to have it themed vintage-y and do home made center pieces and decorations etc. There is this really cute tree idea where you paint a tree and then everyone puts green thumbprints to sign their name and to be the leaves. :D Also..I like the idea of having a tree and hanging notes from the tree
Bridesmaids: :D
Maid of Honor: Melissa Mangano
Bridesmaids: Ashley Laskowski, Erin Thim, Kailey Mutter, Dana Holladay, Kara Young
Amount of guests: 150
and still more to come :D
Let's start at the beginning...we are getting married August 19th, 2011 at Lake Wilderness Lodge Maple Valley, WA :
http://www.ci.maple-valley.wa.us/index.aspx?page=107
Our wedding will be outdoors in front of the lake and it will be absolutely beautiful. It's nice and green and surrounded in the beauties of nature :D The reception will be held indoors..which is three stories large and has a spiral staircase along with an awesome dance floor! :D
Our photographer: Rendy Tucker
http://www.rendytuckerphotography.com/
Our flowers: still trying to figure all the logistics of this out... :D We have three different options right now :)
Our caterer: ughhhhhh the hardest part so far!! Still looking!!!
Our cake/cupcakes: My aunt is doing the cake...still trying to work out the details of who will end up doing our cupcakes..possibly the caterer
Decorations/ambiance: Sarah is going to make these adorable white paper...we are going to have it themed vintage-y and do home made center pieces and decorations etc. There is this really cute tree idea where you paint a tree and then everyone puts green thumbprints to sign their name and to be the leaves. :D Also..I like the idea of having a tree and hanging notes from the tree
Bridesmaids: :D
Maid of Honor: Melissa Mangano
Bridesmaids: Ashley Laskowski, Erin Thim, Kailey Mutter, Dana Holladay, Kara Young
Amount of guests: 150
and still more to come :D
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