changes

Lately I've been stressed and Alex is working so much and I miss him so much during his busy season. He rarely hast time to talk to me on the phone and he doesn't get done with work until around nine or ten..then he's exhausted and wants to go to bed when I want to stay up and chat. It's hard. Now I'm moving into our apartment by myself and I'm scared and I just hate change. This song has been soothing me :) so have the friends that are oh so comforting these days

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOh_sVYXOQk&playnext=1&list=PL9AC96DF33AF8D6C0

Erin

I miss you Erin!!! Come back into my blogging life.. :D (and real life..lol) stop working so much ;) Love you!

dear mr. sandman

In response to all you punks from my past that keep creeping into my dreams at night(which I know is highly due to the stress I am experiencing from all this change) here is a song for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3RRy5ONFaw

As for the sandman..I would greatly appreciate it if I could please be left alone from all the stress and torments I won't let myself think about when I am awake. This morning I actually was relieved that I couldn't remember my dream last night. I don't know what it is, but all this stress and change has made my mind fight battle after battle and my heart waking up exhausted...sigh. I'm not sure if I need to invest in more dream catchers, but I'm so tired of being haunted by these dreams. It seems as though my nightmares get worse the closer the change comes...these are things I'm thinking would help:

-warm milk..gross I know..but isn't this an old tradition to calm the nerves and relax the mind?

-happy go lucky movie before bed..haha...possibly when harry met sally? my all time favorite

-icecream..because all that is stressful in life has always been cured with icecream

-and that's all ive got :D


getting stressed about all that I have to do for the wedding..eeeeek!!!!!!

too fast

Sometimes I feel like my life moves so fast. That time goes by so quickly that I just can't keep up. It's overwhelming. I'm having one of those days. One of those days where I just feel so antsy in my own skin. Like somethings missing and I have no idea what it is...like I need to get out of Spokane or do something crazy. I think my life has been on a time crunch. Everything is starting to get to me. I feel like I can't keep up with everything..like I don't have the skills. I also feel impulsive and flighty and like I need an escape for right now. I can't tell if it's because I'm stressed with everything lately or if I just need a release.

Everything feels routine and generic and blase. I've been writing alot more to spice my mind up and to feel passionate...and it's not alex and it's not my friends. It's me. I'm having senioritis..but with no school or no reason. Can you have a senioritis from life? I have felt closer to alex then I've ever felt before and my friends are incredible as usual. I think I just need something to excite me again. I need to feel free for a little bit. I freedom dose. I'm not talking about free from a relationship or free from my work...because ah! I'm sooo in love with both of those things in my life right now. I've never felt so happy in my life but so angsty at the same time. What is it? I need a deep conversation about life and love and the past and the future. I need an incredible dance party. I need exploration of the soul through art. I need to travel. I ache to travel and to see something new...something that makes my heart ache inside. I need a live concert and a new party dress. I need something...